Raising daughters - With Children's Books for Girls

Ice Skate with Confidence

Motivational children's books for raising daughters

My eight-year-old became a nine-year-old recently. So, for her birthday, my wife and I took 11 little girls to a local skating rink. It was a challenge...but a lot of fun.

My daughters have skated several times before, whereas at least 5 of the 11 girls had not. I watched the kids closely as some of the girls skated around without help and with ease, while others inched their way around by holding onto the rail or falling every few feet. The faces of the kids said it all. The skaters were more confident because they were such better skaters, and the non-skaters were visibly less confident. I was holding one of the non-skaters hands as she worked her way around the rink. Whenever one of her friends whizzed past her she made comments like, "Wow, I didn't know she was so good," or "How many times has she skated?"

As the hour or so wore on, the skaters began to help the non-skaters. They all had a blast, but as we left the rink, the skaters walked with a lot more swagger...it was stunning.

So, it's one of those many little things that can begin a trend of success and confidence. The world of children is very physical and very competitive. It's almost like the jungle (okay, okay, I'm overstating that a bit...but kids are trying to find their way...to find out who they are and who they should try to become). Skating is an opportunity to gain confidence or lose confidence. I'm glad I've invested a little time with my girls in skating...although, I didn't realize I should be glad until the party the other night.

A Girl Named Pants!

Want a great message? Listen to Hannah Montana!

Motivational Childrens Books

Yes, yes, you read it correctly. I use the lyrics from one of Hannah Montana's songs every day to motivate my kids. Keep in mind, I watch TV with my kids on the weekends...sometimes for a big chunk of the day. And while I don't recall whether Hannah Montana is on Nick or Disney, it's on a lot, and my daughters really like it...so do I.

The lyrics to one of Hannah Montana's songs go something like this, "Life's what you make it, so let's make it rock!" What a great message! What a great thing to think about when you're deciding what to do with your day. And, it's a message that fits in perfectly with the whole theme of A Girl Named Pants!

So, when I'm trying to motivate my kids to take action on something, or do something great with their time, I'll say, "Olivia (or Emma or Gabrielle), Life's what you make it, so let's make it ROCK!" They know I'm quoting Hannah Montana (and, of course, she has way more credibility than I do), and when used in connection with a specific situation, they understand what that phrase really means. You're here anyway. Time is passing. You can create a blah life for yourself or a memorable...even legendary life for yourself. What will you make your life into? Use the time you have to do great things, to change the world, even if it's just changing the life of one other person.

Try it with your kids. "Life's what you make it...so let's make it ROCK!"

Walk Me Through Your Day

Raising daughters with children's books for girls

I was chatting with my friend, Tim, recently about ideas for raising confident children. We both agree that it's critical to know what's going on in our kids' lives...every day. My question of the day, though, was how to get my 7 year-olds and 8 year-old to give me information every day. Here's a typical "after school" discussion:

Dad: "How was your day, girls?"

One or more of my daughters: "Fine."

Dad: "Well, what did you do today?"

Girls: "Nothing."

Dad: "Well, you must have done something."

Girls: "Not really."

Dad: "Okay, tell me one great thing you did today, and one hard thing that happened today."

Girls: "Okay, okay. A great thing I did was I went to art class. A hard thing that happened to me was the jelly made the bread all wet on my PB&J sandwich in my lunch."

It's a nice way to talk about nothing, but it doesn't really tell me about their day.

So, my friend Tim told me about a better way. Every day over dinner he asks each kid to "walk me through your day." They start with getting on the bus, through all their classes, bus ride home, homework, etc. It only takes about five minutes for each kid, but it creates an opportunity for the kids to learn to describe the important information quickly (a valuable skill in life). At the same time it enables Tim to hear seemingly boring little details that could reveal important information over time. Tim can hear about who is annoying his kids on the bus, who they're sitting with at lunch, what classes get them excited, and all kinds of other little details that might not mean much in isolation, but mean a lot when part of the bigger story...the every day story.

I just started doing it and it works really well. It's simple. It's quick. And it creates a format or forum to get the information. Thanks, Tim!

Raising confident daughters with public speaking...in front of adults

Motivational Children's books and stuff for girls: A Girl Named Pants!

I believe that public speaking could be the most important of all life-skills. Public speaking skills apply to almost everything. Teaching. Being a student. Sports. Business. Sales. Politics. Research. Law. Medicine. Operations. Living in a neighborhood. Clubs. Relationships...young and old. And yes, public speaking skills also apply to public speaking.

Being able to stand in front of a few people or a few thousand people and be calm enough to make your point...to articulate your message, is a powerful tool...or weapon. And knowing that you can do it is a tremendous source of confidence. Mostly because so few people are confident enough to do it. Being good at this is an immediate differentiator. The one if front of the room is the expert (even if they're not much of an expert). Being at the podium elevates the speaker.

Now, my plan has been to have my children do show-and-tell at home with me to build their public speaking skills. We do it often. And, my daughters are very confident while standing in front of the crowd...that is, as long as the crowd is comprised only of me and their siblings.

I went to my daughter's last-day-of-Kindergarten show. With all our practice at home, I expected my daughter to be one of the more confident speakers. I was wrong. She spoke so softly I could barely hear her. She stared at her teacher the entire time. No eye contact with the crowd at all. I was really surprised.

I spoke with her teacher about it afterward. She said that my daughter is confident with the other kids, but seems to have a hard time speaking in front of adults.

With that in mind, I have a new program I am preparing to implement. I am going to offer the opportunity for other parents in the neighborhood to have their kids practice public speaking in my living room. The only catch for the parents is that they have to be there as the adult crowd. In this way, all the kids will get exposure to speaking in front of adults; adults that are not their parents.

Small victories can fuel earth shattering accomplishments

I did something today that I’ve been dreading for a few weeks; my snow blowers first start.  I go through this every year.  It usually takes me 125 to 150 pulls before it starts.  Once it starts, it’s good for the whole winter, but getting to that first start is a miserable experience.  It’s not just pulling the cord 150 times; it’s the dread that it may never start.

My daughters were in the driveway with their little shovels as I began my first few pulls.  I pulled it the first ten times then took a break for a few seconds.  I did the same with the next ten and the next.  Then, for no obvious reason, on the thirty-fifth pull, the snow blower started!  I couldn’t believe it!  I shouted, “YYEESSSS!” I held my hands up and kept shouting it!  My girls started shouting it too.  I was so fired up!  I felt like I had just won the Super Bowl.  My whole day changed.  I felt like I could do anything! 

Such a trivial victory changed my whole attitude.  I accomplished several things today that I’ve been dreading and putting off for weeks.  In fact, it’s likely that had I not started the snow blower on the 35^th pull today, I would have put off this “Raising Daughters” entry until tomorrow. 

This trivial victory and my over reaction to it validates my view that little victories mean a lot.  Little victories can snowball; they can create a trend, a life changing trend. 

My sister went through a long period of wandering with no direction and low self esteem.  She had no victories.  This went on for years.  Then, she started going to the gym and running on a tread mill.  A small victory.  She began to talk about running now and again.  And while it was almost imperceptible at the time, that little victory began to change her life.  Next she began aerobics.  Soon she began to loose weight and get into shape.  At some point she became more interesting and exciting to talk to again.  Before long, my sister was inspiring people around her.  Now she is highly motivated, back in school and succeeding wildly with her coursework, her kids, and her life.  Little victories mean a lot.  They can lead to earth shattering accomplishments. 

If it’s true with adults – that little victories can snowball and change a life of negativity – think of what little victories can do to children.  Children don’t have lives that have to be changed or turned-around.  They have lives that haven’t yet been shaped.  Little victories can turn them in to confident adults.  And little victories can be found anywhere…it’s all about how they see it. 

For example, I took two of my daughters to soccer this morning.  One is almost seven-years-old and the other is five-years-old.  Before we arrived I talked about their goals for the game. We agreed to attainable goals (not too easy and not too hard).  My seven-year-old’s goal was to score one goal…she scored two.  My five-year-old’s goal was to kick the ball five times during the game (yes, yes, it’s a pretty small victory, but a few weeks ago she wasn’t even noticing the ball when it rolled past her)…she kicked it six times. 

When they finished playing, they were both fired up!  They succeeded and they knew they succeeded.  They each had a small victory; a victory that was placed on top of many, many other small victories; small victories that seem to be gaining momentum; turning into a trend.

I believe that with our daughters, almost any situation can be perceived as a success.  Even kicking a soccer ball or reading a children's book.  It’s all about having the right expectations and goals at the outset.  Start building momentum for success, today…right now!